American Men Take Up Their Vow of Chastity — Globe Hackers
Men have neglected their responsibilities toward women and the family for too long.
Gentlemen, it’s time for you to stand up and let the world know what a good Christian conservative means when he commits to the right to life.
From now on, your behavior must be exemplary. A man’s behavior mustn’t contribute to unwanted pregnancies.
When men behave responsibly, we can get the government out of making laws regarding reproductive rights and family healthcare. Abortion will be a thing of the past.
It’s up to us, good, Christian, Western men.
Conservative Men make this commitment to future mothers and wives.
1. We will not fornicate with women.
2. We will not temp women with our dress, style, or demeanor.
3. We will not have premarital sex.
4. After marriage, we will only have sex for reproductive purposes.
5. Married couples may enjoy intimate play in private.
6. Men will encourage wives, daughters, and female family members and acquaintances to dress modestly.
7. We will ensure, through the law of our holy land, that online dating sites, porn, chat sites, adult entertainment, prostitution, nudie bars, strip clubs, massage centers, and other forms of sexual entertainment are illegal in all jurisdictions of the Realm.
8. We will guard the purity of our female family members and acquaintances.
9. Dating will be a controlled activity until marriage.
10. People will not be allowed to dance provocatively.
11. Music that agitates sexual desire must be outlawed.
12. Movies will no longer have scenes portraying any sexual activity.
13. There will be no more nudity in any content.
14. We will limit our drinking to three drinks on special occasions.
15. Drug use will be punishable by a trip to hell.
More rules of proper male behavior and virtues will be announced as the country reforms itself through the genius of our dear and holy leader. He alone will determine the law and the correct interpretation of the Constitution. His appointed clergy will teach according to his understanding of scripture.
God’s will makes every man free to be a good man.
Take up your cross and protect women from our sinful world.
Your Humble Servant,
Noble Edward Tali Bon
Executive Advisor and Earl of Kansas